Each year will have its own drama, be it child rearing, layoffs, second careers, and middle-aged angst, along with a great helping of the in-sickness-and-in-health stuff. Here’s how to have a healthy affiliation every step of the way. Couple-relationship First comes love, then comes wedding, and then comes decades of time together strewn with a minefield of potential affiliation wreckers. It’s a wonder that anyone ends up walking off into the end of the day, hand-in-wrinkled-hand, with a silver-haired mate. What do those elderly lovebirds know that you don’t?
Have a financial plan
Nearly 40% of wedded people admit to lying to their spouse about a purchase, according to a 2004 poll, and cash woes can quickly send your wedding south. In fact, cash is the number-one reason couples fight, and relationships tend to suffer from poor saving. You should discuss and agree upon some hard economic ground rules, preferably before you tie the knot.
Figure out your family rules
Couples expand the first 5 to 10 years of their wedding butting heads over how their family should work, says Dr. Robbins. “People often don comprehend that they come into a wedding with an idea of how a family works based on their own family—whether they liked them or not,” he enhances. You can end up fighting over something as petty as how you should hang your toilet paper, but those little issues can add up to big difficulties, particularly if children enter the picture. A 2004 research found that how a couple manages parenting responsibilities when the child is an infant is related to the quality of their wedding two-and-a-half years later.
Make sex a priority—but not a chore
While you should make sex a priority, you shouldn’t pencil it in on your organizer. If you schedule sex, it becomes a duty—just like taking out the trash, says Andrew Goldstein, MD, an obstetrician and gynecologist at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, in Baltimore, and the coauthor of Reclaiming Desire. The average married pair has sex 58 times per year or to some extent more than once a week. And a recent eight-year research found that 90% of couples experienced a decrease in marital pleasure after the birth of their first child. Yikes! 4.Be flexible Whatever commercial and household preparations you agreed to in your 20s or 30s, chances are they’re going to change at some point in your wedding. Men account for 82% of recent occupation losses during this recession, meaning couples are making some hard selections when it comes to both their careers and their checking accounts. Couple-relationship if the old-style breadwinner is laid off, the stay-at-home parent may essential to head back into the workforce. Conversely, if you become a stay-at-home spouse—due to choice or circumstance—expect to do more of the shopping, cleaning, and other everyday jobs that make a household run smoothly. A current analysis of government data found that employed women expend significantly more time on child care and housework than in job men—and unemployed men.