Understanding, support, and compromise… If you remember these three words, especially when children are involved, you will have a happier and stronger marriage. Bringing a baby home from the hospital is in itself an exciting experience. New parents are filled with feelings of joy, love, fear, and uncertainty. Raising a child is a test of patience, endurance and time management. The love is supreme, but to nourish the love and to make a relationship strong needs hard work and perseverance.
The arrival of a child in marriage
When the couple decides to give birth to a child, you probably think that their biggest challenges will be to handle regular waking up at 2 am to feed the baby and changing diapers. Sleep deprivation and overwhelming responsibilities of other human beings life should be enough for any couple. But money, career and complete changes in lifestyle can contribute to a disaster in marriage. New parents will feel very vulnerable and more emotional than before. Minor misunderstandings can easily become major problems and some comments will be interpreted in a thousand ways by both spouses. The transition from two to three in the family takes its toll on a couple’s life seriously.
How to maintain a solid marriage
The most important factors in maintaining a solid marriage are understanding our mutual support and compromise. To really understand her husband’s feelings, try to think of things in terms of his own feelings aside. Here’s a common scenario: Her husband had worked all day. He comes home and just wants to relax. After a hard day of work feels entitled to a few moments of peace and tranquillity. On the other hand, the wife is on maternity leave and stay home with the baby all day – changing diapers, preparing bottles with milk, interact with the baby, cleans, and food. And she, in turn, had a long day and just waiting to come to her husband pulls a little soul. There are two ways to approach this situation. The handy: it will likely degenerate into a debate about who has the most difficult role in the family and the other does not understand. Instead of helping each other, they attack by launching a chain reaction of resentment and defensive attitude. How about if, instead of quarreling the couple would use the little energy left at the end of the day to find a compromise that would serve both our interests? Perhaps, after dinner, the wife would make a relaxing bath with foam, while the husband would take care of the child. Then husband could allow one hour for himself and his wife oversee child or vice versa. In this way, both will be able to disconnect and would not dissipate more energy arguing without any purpose.
Speed time grows exponentially when children appear in the marriage, a week starts to feel like a day and sometimes even a whole month seems to pass by the blink of an eye. One day, in a moment of respite, one spouse could realize that the last time you saw a movie with your partner was 3 years ago! With the responsibility of a child, over-all daily tasks, and housework, plus the need for time spent with your husband. Never seems to be enough time during the day to solve all the tasks proposed, but occasionally, it is best to put tops the list of spending time together with your partner. Planning an early dinner reservation at a restaurant and a movie! Make it a habit to occasionally rent a movie and watch it after the child/children have gone to bed. If you visit your grandparents, sneak at a cafe. Wear a light conversation before bed, not to mention anything about money or responsibilities. Also, try to double intimate moments over a week … twice a week is not end the world! (You know I am referring to)
Make marriage work
Marriage means compromise, especially when two people share the responsibility of a child. Even if one spouse works and the other stays home, each are contributing equally the housework. It took two people to make a baby, and two people who share the experience of raising a child makes things become easier for those involved.