Sometimes want to scream at our children. It is a reaction caused by the feeling of frustration or intense emotion when the kids make a scene or have a nervous outburst.
But most of us know that high voice and penalties affect the child’s self-esteem and their confidence in us, we develop unhealthy coping mechanisms and makes them react more bad future. In contrast, children with gentleness and healthy boundaries will help you become confident adults and healthy emotionally and will make the life of a parent to be an easier experience.
This article offers some insights and methods to educate children without screaming and without punishment. In the first half are a few tidbits about how can we, as parents, to become more balanced, and not to react emotionally; in the second half are methods that can be applied in everyday life in our relationship with the children, to help them to become more confident and less prone to emotional outbursts.
1. Be Gentle with Yourself and Your Care
As we have greater care of ourselves, we observe more and their own needs and limits. If we feel tired and short of energy, it will be far harder to cope with the wake of nerve. In addition: as we are reconciled to his own person, so we feel less guilty when we do our ‘ mistakes ‘ or when we’re not doing things ‘right’. So, besides personal care rituals as meditation, prayer, yoga, dancing (and/or whatever works!), talk to yourself as you talk with your own child, not as a harsh critic.
2. Acknowledge your Feelings, No Matter how Silly and Irrational Might Seem
If you accept them and love them, they will be released, rather than remain locked in yourself. Respect your own limits. Children outgrow the limits too often and for too long as, often, they allow us. But at some point, we are going to lose patience. Is to understand: sometimes you don’t say ‘ no ‘ to avoid ‘ a spectacle ‘, or because we want to be parents ‘ good ‘.
However, much of the work of the parent is to establish some healthy limits. If you love your children does not mean to give them whatever they want whenever they want. And if you’re firm in your decision, you will in the future be increasingly few ‘ performances ‘.
3. You have to Realistic Expectations.
When we go out with the kids in public places, we cannot expect them to behave like adults. A child will not stand time as an adult.
Although it is very good that you want to go out with the kids, you must not forget that we have to enjoy this experience and her. That is why we must not feel embarrassed, offended or guilty for their reactions.
When we give up unrealistic expectations, the whole experience will be much more enjoyable for us.
4. Do not Design your own Fears Over your Child
When we worry about children’s behavior or fear that they will become aggressive in certain situations, they will feel the negative energy and will comply with it. If a child starts to believe that it’s ‘ bad ‘, will begin to behave as such.
5. Heal the Child within You
Children can trigger a series of unresolved emotions in ourselves, making ourselves feel hurt and frustrated, perhaps in connection with certain childhood experiences or other difficulties through which we crossed during life. Our children will often reflect these unresolved emotions when they feel. That’s why it’s better to deal with those parts of you that suffer.
Accept your feelings or about the past without judging you and offers the child within you all the unconditional love that they never received it or it needs now.
6. Find Yourself a Lifeline
In moments where you feel calm and level-headed, choose a physical stimulus, for example, unesti and raise your thumb and mahaeo. This will be a ‘ lifeline ‘, keep the pressure of the fingers a few minutes. In this way, you make the connection between this and the feeling of calm and equilibrium.
Use the preservers next time you’re angry or when your baby has a nervous outburst, to trigger a feeling of calm and equilibrium.
7. Remove the Feeling of Guilt
Feelings of guilt and shame are emotions with the lowest vibration of the entire human experience. From emotionally can be considered the most distant attitudes towards love, balance, and compassion. Blame not only does let us feel sympathy for ourselves but often makes us committed some limits to ‘ compensate ‘ for what I think is wrong. Being a parent is a whole process. In every moment of this trial doing what you know you better and learn and sharpen your skills. Words are energy to choose them wisely.
8. Spend Quality Time Together
Attention is a primary need of the child. When kids make scenes, often will not only do we attract attention to the fact that they define and develop their own personality and need attention. Often an emotional outburst reflects greater freedom than the child can handle. Children will feel secure through the guidance of our full of love in the form of healthy limits.
The best way we can do this for our children is to give them quality time, since part of our attention 100%. Children do not need us to be present next to them all the time. But time is invaluable to them. If they feel loved and protected will no longer feel the need to exaggerate in reactions.
9. Let Him Explore
When children have attention and protection they need, will be without a doubt and desire to explore the world.
This enables us to observe things around them to know the better body and satisfy innate curiosity. Forays into the unknown made on its own initiative will develop and they will manifest their creativity and joy. The surface of the canvas, as well as the departure of fathers time at play than age and depend on the needs of the child, and they increase with time. In these moments of play must be present beside the child. But you don’t have to-Adryan. I see how they enjoy and how it grows.
10. Give it Enough Time to Adapt to a Change of Activity
Sudden changes can trigger opposition from children. Especially sensitive children are very useful to give them time to adjust to a change. Bedtime, for example, a child with some time to announce before bedtime is approaching. You can say ‘ You can play 10 minutes, then go to bed ‘. And repeat this when there are five minutes, then a minute.
11. Respect your Child as Being Self-Contained
Our children have small bodies and learn what it means to be human, we need to ensure the basic requirements for survival. But at the same time, people are freestanding with high capacity of understanding at different levels. So be sure to talk with your child as an adult: you don’t change your voice and say ‘ I ‘ when you talk about yourself, not ‘ mommy ‘ and ‘ Daddy. ‘
12. Respect the Integrity of your Child’s Body
Always tell your child when you want to pick him up in your arms, or when you want to touch him. You can start when they’re still babies: ‘ I’m going to take you in my arms now. One, two, three, ready. ‘ Children are less surprised when I know what’s waiting for you. When you play with children, observe them a choice when I say ‘ no ‘ and they want to stop.
The game-a horse or any other physical activity is a good opportunity for the child to learn that when he/she says ‘ no ‘ (‘ I want to stop/no me touches ‘), the other person must comply with the decision.
Boundaries are important for children. There is no guarantee that all the people will listen to what the children are saying, but if they grow up with this mentality and this idea about their body, are less likely to become a victim of abuse or other inappropriate behaviors. Ask for help. Don’t be ashamed if you feel numb.
13. Ask for Help
Tell your partner that you encounter difficulty, find a babysitter or a parental Advisor, ask for help from other parents, learn new methods of education to make things more enjoyable and more comfortable for you. You’re not alone. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness: it’s the bravest thing you can do it. Asking for help means you care and never give up.
Updated on 12/22/2019
