Sometimes we have the impression that the world has gone crazy. Public speeches are full of anger and confusion; people sit together in cramped spaces with eyes in screens, isolated from a technology that is supposed to unite.
And everywhere in the world, parents looking for answers: How do I grow happy and healthy children in this complex world? How to reach them without her behavior punishable or endearment? Is it possible to build strong relationships in an unstable world? The answer is Yes-but we need reflection and determination.
While the Foundation is simple and complicated at the same time, when parents are wondering what I think is an essential thing to grow children able and healthy, most give the most obvious answer: love.
But, as you can see many times, some things parents do in the name of love are neither useful nor practical. Children need something more than just love. Imagine babysitting in his crib, pleased.
Plays with their hands or legs, fascinated look, suddenly, he realizes that he needs something. Maybe it is hungry or wet, feels lonely or tired. For whatever reason, they are complaining to signal those that bear that care needs to be taken in his arms and calmed down. Especially for those who are parents for the first time, it may take some time until the reason for the anger of the baby found and its need met. But, ultimately, the baby will be soothed and relieved parents often-until the next call.
How many times a day do you think repeat this scenario? Ten times or a hundred times and each time, the baby learns something about the confidence and support of the family and him now. If this cycle continues along with its entire childhoods, then the baby develops what researchers call an ‘ attachment ‘ safety, ‘which Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs have called a ‘ sense of belonging and value with over 100 years ago and what positive discipline called, simply, ‘ connection. ‘
This feeling of being desired and cared unconditionally represents the basis of all that will teach the child later in life. Fulfillment with a consequent child needs love and is the only and the most important thing that parents (and other people involved in growing) you can do for a child. Every lesson in life that a child receives in its early years when the child and adults interact face to face: how to manage emotions, how to learn to speak, how to read other people’s feelings.
Children fortunate enough to have a secure attachment learn faster, are more cooperative, and develop better social skills and emotional. Children who do not have a reliable connection are likely not achieved their potential never whole.
How, then, to create a durable and robust connection with your child? It is not complicated but requires time, patience, and determination. Here are six things you can do to create a sense of belonging and value for your child:
1. Spend time together. So simple and so important. Life for most parents today is busy and stressful.
They paid bills and many tasks for which do not find enough time. However, for a child, time spent with the grown-up that you grow, face to face, without rushing, is irreplaceable. Do everything possible to find time to laugh together, you look at your child’s face, and let his smile inspire your soul. Breathe profoundly and stop yourself from the daily rush. These times will not be coming back and are a valuable investment in your child’s happiness. Childer always live in Now moment, please join them and enjoy your life fully together with somebody who knows better then you what is Now and here means.
2. Touch your children gently and often. One of the easiest ways we can nurture this connection with the child is through loving touches. Give it (and receive) hugs and kisses.
Please take advantage of the time, changing the diaper and other customs of the day to give him a massage. Comfort him and forward that you love and that you take care of him when the child angry, sometimes gentle touches work more than say the words. A hug always works or can say, ‘ I’m beside you and care about you ‘ without having too many angry words.
Tender gestures can convey the depth of affection and your connection with your child.
3. Listen to your child carefully unabated. When your child wants to say something, please pay attention and listen to it, let the knife witch cut vegetables, close your phone. Stop what you were doing and get into childs Now moments.
Descend to his level, look in his eyes, and smile. You’ll be amazed at what will happen. Ask your child to share with you the happiest moment of the day, but also the most unfortunate; then you can do the same.
4. Play along. Many parents lead their children to play, but too few to play with them. Children learn through physical contact. Discover the world through the senses and play together with them is one of the best experiences you can enjoy together.
Let your child take command; follow her advice when you look at how you play the game. Even a video game can strengthen the bond between parents and children, especially if it’s a game where the child has the leadership, but the classic, playing in the sand, painting, and building games are much better.
5. Learn to know your child. How is it to be your child? When they look at you, what he sees? You know what he likes to do, and what you think about his own experiences? If you’re not sure, it’s good to know.
6. Educate, don’t punish. It isn’t okay to spoil your child. But not to be rough with it and to apply penalties. The Latin root of the word ‘ discipline ‘ means ‘ to educate ‘ kids and evolves best when adults know how to teach them and help them to develop their skills.
When a behavior needs to be corrected, sets reasonable limits, and take care to be observed, gently but firmly. The yelling and the penalties will not be of any help. When you have a secure connection with your baby, you can turn mistakes into opportunities for learning.
You can laugh together and enjoy the hardships of parent-perhaps not even all the time, but most of the time. Eventually, both parents and children are human beings, and life is never perfect.
But it is crucial to connect to the child and then to correct behavior. Family life can be complicated and frustrating. Still, the importance of the connection creates a foundation on which you and your child can build a lasting relationship and success in life.
Updated on 07-08-2020
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