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Why Do Kids Lie And Steal?

by Tatiana Plesco
Kids Lie

Many parents are concerned about the question of why their children lie? This topic is closely related to other themes like morality and consciousness and other values. For all parents, it is important to educate children, to be honest, and trustworthy. When parents feel like they succeed in this, often appears a strong frustration. Most are asking: ‘ where am I wrong? “

Experiences like this look in families whence it puts a big emphasis on morality, it reacts with great sensitivity to unethical behavior. Here, greater attention is given incorrect behavior of children and the smallest deviations or mistakes are censoring, analyzed and often punished. In such families, there is more and more pressure, which causes fear and more lie.

 What can we do?

The most important thing is to avoid the subject of liars as much as we can.
This means to not react instantly with value judgments in the case of lying. Parents who themselves suffer from a strong moral pressure of their suspects often as children lie even though it is not a lie.
They interpret some things as lies even if they have not already been said or done on purpose. Addressing so often the lying theme, simply push the child into more lying because through their permanent control causes the child to say the untruths. Notice that the child draws more attention when they think.
The best assumption to educate a child to become a liar, even though the intention was altogether different, is kept inside of the genius parent: “my child is not allowed to lie”, or managed and more positive: “my baby must be honest and sincere”.
best assumption to educate a child
Both statements are causing a lot of pressure. If the parents are not so stubborn upon the truth-telling but trust the child without understanding, only then parents form an honest child that will not have the intention to lie or not to say the truth. For parents, this means it is not suspicious, not control and does not issue judgments of value.
The same applies in the case of standards and values that we want to convey through pressure such as politeness, kindness, cleanliness, punctuality, trust, order, diligence, to be reliable, to be comfortable. Of course, does not mean that these ethical and moral values are not important in education but rather it is about the way and manner as they are transmitted. Don’t just teach through words, but through deeds. Be like that, and your child will follow you closely.
It is certain that the pressure is not the appropriate method by which to convey such things. The method you choose for us to achieve the goals take birth as a result of how we think about it. If the child perceives as our insides are self-understood that he did not lie because this is part of a pleasant way of coexistence, in this case, we will build a relationship based on trust. He feels the confidence that I can show you and it looks good enough.
Parents who have a severe inner like, “my kid has to be honest”, often control, strength and severity, authoritarian behavior as methods of education. If different rules and facts are repeatedly discussed, show the child that they are respected and that they require much attention. If, however, we depart from the presumption that these things are themselves understood or perceptive, consider the child’s sense of trust and show that it is easy to be applied. Such a conception would leave the idea of believing in a natural consciousness that man was not born a liar or perpetrator.
show the child that they are respected

Three methods by which we determine the children to lie.

To meditate if many of the lies are really lies. If we look carefully we recognize the motivation on the basis of which the child has made such statements. If you look more carefully, we recognize we can determine how the child started to lie.

1) “Lies” or childish fantasies?

When we evaluate a lie, an important aspect is to check if it does not come from too much fantasy for children. Adults often do not understand the childish fantasies, they seem exaggerated. When the kids tell you certain things very thoroughly, they feel so intensively. What we seem to think its a lie, it’s a reality, their reality. If we find that the situation was different records, much less dramatic and may not take place, we believe that he has lied, exaggerated or made unnecessary statements.
In this case, we will tell the child: “it’s silly, it’s not even true!”. 
This is exactly the problem because often the child has lived the very thing which it reported.
Who expected from a child to actuate and object the reports despite the fact that he lives in a world so sharp and full of feelings, will educate your child to become a liar. Because in this way we ask the child not to narrate what he has lived as a reality but what others want to hear.
Often parents who put great emphasis on truth and honesty, constantly react when their children spontaneously dramatize the story and recount with much emotion. If you issue the judge, one of the consequences is that the little ones will not like to share anymore in this way because they will be afraid of what adults say.
From the fear of saying the wrong thing, to laugh at them, to get a condescending smile or even be punished, many children no longer tell certain things or just those things that parents want to hear them.
get a condescending smile or even be punished

Here and so, starts lying! 

Note that a requirement of fairness, a new stage of child development can result, opposite to what is intended. With time, the child develops the following image of himself: “if I say something, it is most often taken as falsehood”.
Parents, without knowing and unwillingly have forwarded to the child that he or she is a liar. The child must lie more often and the obligation to confirm this picture. And because of this, later in life, will be forced to resort to lies and to “true”.

2) “Lies” or looking for attention at any cost to others.

In many cases, family atmosphere is so natural that only extremely interesting accounts draw on their attention and interest of the other members of the family. In such a family, the child learns, it has listeners and gets recognition only when reports completely exaggerated and distorted things. The untruths can be invented to gain the attention of adults and that’s because the adults have indicated that there is no time or interest in telling a lie ‘.
family atmosphere
So they forced the child to lie because otherwise, it is fear that will be neglected or not will be taken into account.
This example clearly shows, how the reason for a particular behavior (here lying) can be understood by moving what triggers in others because any behavior, whether it is right or wrong, has a whisk and meets a certain motivation. When the child has sensational stuff, he sets off in his parents, interest, and attention.
Your baby needs this kind of attention and he will more often use this method to tell the sensational things even when they don’t exist, and he begins to lie.

3) “Lie” or fear of being punished.

Often we meet another reason kids lie and that is because the kids lack the courage, to tell the truth. This is correct, especially in cases when his motivation is not in agreement with their parents.
The child is afraid of being punished, therefore, prefer to tell a lie or to distort the truth. Such are called lies and falsehoods “out of necessity”.
child is afraid of being punished
They are born from the desire to not be punished. Those who often use this type of lying children are deeply deception. They get most often from the parents negative feedback and rarely praise. Are often criticized and corrected and punished for their deeds. At the same time for good deeds, they are granted and they are rarely regarded as self-understood.
Potential well-intentioned parents who tend to deception is: “the child should be commended for not become conceited and lazy”. To observe where wrong, needs punishments and repeated explanations of behavior or is not the correct one. Only thus can learn to distinguish good from bad.
There are many ways to get a child’s courage. These methods are often used out of desperation and helplessness.
The result leads to frustrated and rebellious children which often lie, steal or have to proceed at higher crimes in order to get any kind of attention, be positive, be negative.
Negative attention, meaning to scold, punish or hit (to beat), is known for their attention to form and no longer causes fear. Children who are often punished later in life is not the fear of punishment, no school, no penalties of prison sentences or police … It comes down to a being used to the punishments which can lead up to immunization.
punish or hit
At this stage, the child no longer feels pain and is no longer afraid of crimes towards the threshold, bigger and more serious lies are descended step by step. Children stealing becomes easy because of the lie, they have no more fear or difficulty to steal. Both take place in a way. By the motives listed in connection with lying, there are also other reasons leading to the theft. It is possible that they are afraid of their reactions or questions as they know that those objects( toys for example) are not appropriate and will be refused. I cannot support a negative response, of not having them, therefore, needs to steal the object. And in this case, parents would require its own monitoring in how her baby reacts when they ask for an object, money, toys or anything else. If they react without understanding, angry, negative or showing no value, showing the child how childish is his request, this reaction is just the one that your child wants to avoid through theft.
There are also children who find it difficult to accept that there are things that we need but we can’t have. Often, they are spoiled children whose parents have a tendency to concede in front of each of their children’s desires and which implements few values in education. Such children are vulnerable to committing crimes at an early stage.
They cannot accept that not all things are happening as they would like because they have never learned to handle a situation in which he cannot possess something, what they would like to possess. For children, there is no other alternative than to buy at any price they want. Parents, who themselves are exceptional by dividing wealth and poverty in the world, they convey their children often inappropriate ideas about right (and the boundaries of law-unfair). These children often hear sentences at home like: “Rich is becoming even more rich and poor poorer” and “In this world, there is no justice.” Such phrases, not only producing a paralyzing feeling in children of mercy for themselves but they also offer an excuse to take from the rich what they need.
paralyzing feeling in children
These parents did not encourage their children to earn enough money, but the richness is described to be gambling unfair that I fell into the lap of the rich man. To these kids, the feeling of not being responsible for their own gambling represents a paralyzing feeling and to be at the mercy of the vain and the unfairness of the world. In this case, what’s your best give?
This type of thinking can lead not only to theft but also the passivity and destruction of kids mental values. Besides all these reasons and an environment that does not transmit moral values, may lead to the fact that children don’t develop a threshold of consciousness for felonies.

How can I avoid a preventive lying and stealing!

First of all, our own actions is an example for children.
Therefore, those parents who are not open and honest towards themselves and towards the other people cannot claim their children to become real people.
Similarly, those parents who are enriching themselves by whatever means and on behalf of other people, you cannot expect to have children worthy of trust. Preventive measures can be taken only through parental attitudes. The parents look like they believe in norms and values such as honesty, to be reliable, you can rely on someone, etc., and these rules are themselves understood and applicable.
avoid a preventive lying
When we trust in our baby that he will enforce as it knows it and ourselves as we try to make it bout these values, to act in accordance with them. But if we look forward, just for the child to make a mistake or lie or steal and then to punish them and make rules then he will grow accordingly.
To our mind, there are kids who are who they are by their nature. Every man is a social being, who can make a constructive contribution to the community.
What triggers exactly the point at which the child wants to reach the motivation for the behavior of wrong. Any child knows that it is not right to lie or steal. It is very important to find out why, in order to recognize the goal to which he wants to get through that behavior.
For example, if his goal is to look like: “I will show you, they can do whatever I want!”, as a result, we must react differently to the goal: “Please, give me more attention.” In the first case, parents can defuse the need for the power of the child, without adding more pressure but also showing him that you take him seriously and that he be given enough space and importance. It can convey to the child that is taken seriously through the assignment of responsibilities such as meal preparation, repairing something that broke down or through dialogue with him.
In the context of all these measures, it is self-understood as the set of rules and values laid down in the family is allowed to be violated because the child is very pampered. At the same time, it is important to keep account of the stage of development of the child to not require it with too much responsibility. In this way, the child no longer has the feels or need to demonstrate the position of power, through the wrong behavior but can learn to gain recognition through constructive behaviors. If on the other hand, the child has the goal to get more attention and more positive feelings (love), parents can try to manifest the love and warmth more evident and more clearly towards their child.

Updated on 07-08-2020

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